you spin me round.....

RYAN!!!!! god I feel like screaming but i know that no one can hear, well the person that i want to listen wont. I understand that the military is involded and yes I damaged military protety..... but a hickey isn't something that they should be concerned them. There are so many other things in the world going wrong....... wahoo off topic. back to the topic. Ryan. I can't even expel the words out of my mouth. You know it's bad. Hell I know it's bad! The thing is I like him but he's insane! He said that when I was in his arms that he wanted to choke me...... yeah that's a little weird.... but thats not all. He constantly gets mad at the world if i say anything wrong. a person shouldn't be affried to speak words that need to be heard. Our relationship is like a country under war. He is like the A. Hilter and i am left as towns persons who can't live in a country that is underway of dying...... our love is dying. wait.... Love? ha all he has for me is lust and i give into his little whimper and then it morphs into a thing; Pure Lust. no affection. jjust plain and simple lust. I know i need to get out. Damn it I want to get out. Rope please?